If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, Fours begin to build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They feel that they lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel comfortable with. Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image-their personality or ego-structure itself. Is it will power? Social ease? Self-confidence? Emotional tranquility?-all of which they see in others, seemingly in abundance. Nevertheless, Fours often report that they feel they are missing something in themselves, although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that “something” is. Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types. This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a quiet strength. They are not afraid to see themselves “warts and all.” Healthy Fours are willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they are determined to understand the truth of their experience-so that they can discover who they are and come to terms with their emotional history. They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings and can look at their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. More than any other type, Fours are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies. They often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing special, one-of-a-kind gifts, but also as uniquely disadvantaged or flawed. Fours feel that they are unlike other human beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately. We have named this type The Individualist because Fours maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally different from others. Salinger, Anne Rice, Frida Kahlo, Diane Arbus, Martha Graham, Rudolf Nureyev, Cindy Sherman, Hank Williams, Billie Holiday, Judy Garland, Maria Callas, Miles Davis, Keith Jarrett, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens), Ferron, Cher, Stevie Nicks, Annie Lennox, Prince, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morrisette, Feist, Florence ( + the Machine) Welch, Amy Winehouse, Ingmar Bergman, Lars von Trier, Marlon Brando, Jeremy Irons, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder, Kate Winslet, Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp, Tattoo Artist Kat Von D., Magician Criss Angel, Streetcar Named Desire's “Blanche duBois” Tchaikovsky, Gustav Mahler, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Edgar Allen Poe, Yukio Mishima, Virginia Woolf, Anne Frank, Karen Blixen / Isak Dinesen, Anaîs Nin, Tennessee Williams, J.D. Learn more about the arrows.Įxamples: Rumi, Frédéric Chopin, Pyotr I. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), envious, emotionally turbulent Fours become more objective and principled, like healthy Ones. When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), aloof Fours suddenly become over-involved and clinging at Two. Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer." The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief) At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.īasic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significanceīasic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create anĮnneagram Four with a Three-Wing: "The Aristocrat"Įnneagram Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian" They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |